I’ve been taking videos of me, in the car, mostly not driving, but if I am the phone is away and I am not looking at it :), to document lessons, my journey etc.
Watch, subscribe and comment (if you like) here: https://youtu.be/xnrJQLzU_lQ.
I hope to share lessons, tips, contacts, resources and more in this “show”.
The most amazing thing happens to me when I am in front of my mirror drying and/or flat-ironing my hair. Flat-ironing by the way, is really just a glorified way of “ironing” hair, something my mom started doing literally on an ironing board with me leaning over while she “ironed” my hair straight.
(Not sure how “us” “coloured-people” decided that straight hair was better than au-natural?).
Anyway, I digress.
The most profound thoughts enter, initially they were a little negative to be honest. Why is my father not around, why is this person being such a bitch, or why is she staying with him etc. etc. etc. blah blah blah.
I then realised that the power this mirror had, was to be used for good. So as I stand and painfully make my way through the mound of hair on my head, when the thoughts enter, if they are negative, i’ll change them to a positive one, or if they are neutral, as Anthony Robbins says “if you want better results, ask better questions”, I’ll try to think about better questions.
My latest revolves around my father (he died last year and we had not spoken for about fifteen years). Was I a good daughter, should I have gone to see him one last time and why was his illness kept from me? Super heavy questions which I answer.
I did my best, I can’t turn the clock to go back and see him one last time, we made peace when I saw him last, and family is strange, people think they know what is best for others, which is such bullshit. Do what is best for you, not what you think is best for others.
Next thoughts revolve around the hair itself. Urgh, sooo much of it (grateful as it could be worse), do I cut it, do I Brazilian again, blah blah, smiles :).
But what really gets me is that this mirror of mine seems to have the same effect which always gets me thinking, “do I have a special mirror, or are all mirrors the same?” Laughing out loud, I turn my thoughts to something more constructive. “How can I make this day great? How can I focus my thoughts better? How can I reach my goals this year?”.
Where else do profound questions happen? Shower, car, drfiting away in meetings, who knows. All I know is this mirror of mine, has been the only thing that I actually have from the past, carried from place to place which has stood the test of time and perhaps this is the gift it brings me, reflection of self and reflection of thought.
Why do resolutions have such a ….. well, negative connotation, in my opinion anyway? Maybe, because as human beings (and according to science) when it comes to changing habits, is not easy to do as they are automatic or “conditioned” responses. When we set these new year resolutions, we make them, and usually it is something large and vague, like “exercise” or “loose weight” and we don’t make it realistic or replace the old habits with new ones.
So I’ve stopped making them.
I do however, have goals for personal, family, health, business, friends, soul etc. and try and amend the way of achieving them if I see that something may not have worked too well in the past year.
My lessons of 2017 were many. My challenges, even more. What I know for sure, is that “niceness” does not need to be replaced with “bitchiness” and “bullies” well, you get a huge F**K you as I start trusting my instincts more.
The past year was one of my most challenging and most growth-defining years in hindsight.
So, goals for 2018, have been set. My husband and I actually set them together. Some joint goals as a family and a couple and individual ones, so we are aware of the year ahead.
This year, I turn 40 years old. Am I freaking out, not at all.
I have goals I need to achieve and turning 40 is not on the list, not even slightly.
Wishing us all a better 2018. I believe that the year has already started off better than it did in 2017 and I intend to keep my eye on the prize. What is the prize?
I’ll never tell.